Musings about joy in the midst of pain

Blake has been gone for 46 days... and the kids, the dog and I are still very much alive. Thankfully, Blake is scheduled to return home in 72 hours! So, you might be wondering, how did we do? Did we thrive, or just survive?
Well, we had good days and very-not-good days. We laughed, cried, moped, rejoiced. There were times of satisfaction in my parenting and in my ability to weather this storm. There were other times when I broke down and wept and shouted things at God in my anger--things I don't actually mean when I'm in my right mind. But, what I did differently this time apart is that I kept my heart open to God. I did not cut myself off and embrace the lie of self-reliance. I have stayed open to God and to what He wanted to teach me.
But what I've pondered and chewed on the most is that in the midst of my incredible sadness about Blake's absence, I have -- on some days -- felt incredible joy. That joy, in and of itself, has been a divine gift.
What has contributed to this joy? Being the recipient of the gift of a new job that came to me from the Father at the exact right time in my life. He knew that giving me this job would cause my feet to skip across the campus of Indiana University and my face to be aglow---even while my heart ached for my best friend and the father of my kids.
My new job is to staff the growing Graduate Student and Faculty ministry of InterVarsity here at IU. It's the role of a chaplain. And I love it. For perhaps the first time in my 39.5 years of life, I feel perfectly equipped for the work I've been given. A perfect fit. And I'm having the time of my life. The fun I'm having watching God build a community of believers at IU has carried me through these past 2 months. I am eager for Blake's return (of course) and excited to see what the future holds on campus. [Blake will be home 2 1/2 weeks before leaving again...]